Life Stressors/Ranting.

I feel like my life is a complete and total wreck right now!

I'm stuck in a rut. There's not much in my life right now I can say I'm happy with. Or even satisfied with for that matter. Let's see...

• I hate my job. I hate having a degree and not getting paid shit for it. You actually need a psych degree for this job, and yet I still don't get paid nearly enough. Not to mention I feel like the person I work with all day just yells and is unappreciative for what I do. I am done with the mental health and health fields. Done. Remember how I said I wanted a desk job about a year ago? Yep. Still do. I never thought lil-miss-people-person-joella would hate people. But I do. I hate people now.
• So, like I said I'm working a job that requires a psychology degree. Right? Right. Ok, yet with this paycheck I'm getting I still can't pay for my degree. You'd think since you need the degree, they'd pay for the degree. Nope. If I were to pay all my student loan payments, plus my rent, plus my car payment, gas and groceries each month like a normal person does I'd come out in the red. I realized it's called a budget and that practically everyone is on one. But I legitimately cannot pay all my bills. It's not possible, even with a budget. And that's a horrible feeling. And my blood pressure and heart rate are rising right now thinking about it. 
• I'm going to be homeless I'm pretty sure. I have a horrible credit score from not being able to pay my student loans. But my lease is up. So now I have to find a place that is going to run a credit report on me and hope they understand.
• Did I mention I know nobody here whose lease is up for me to live with? Yep. That's fun. Oh, but forget being able to afford a place on my own. I definitely can't! So I'm looking for a roommate on Craigslist. I think I found one. But then again, I have to get approved  with my credit score first.
• Oh yeah, then when I move I'll have no furniture. Which is weird because I remember buying furniture for my apartment in Tampa. Lucky me, I got to leave practically my whole life behind when I ran. I only took my clothes and pictures and school books. So all that furniture I've bought? Lost it. All of those dishes and silverwear my grandmother gave me? Gone. 

I realize I'm ranting and I'm probably being a bit dramatic. But I just feel as if I can't catch a break. For the past two years it's been one thing after another. I was cheated on and beaten on by a boy who I thought loved me, which obviously wasn't the case. Which forced me to run away to a city I never had intentions of moving to. So now I'm struggling to find a place to live in, in a city I never wanted to live in, because of a job that I hate going to, which requires a degree, but doesn't pay enough to help  make student loan payments. I feel like the biggest failure at life right now.

Look At That Smile...Makes Me Melt.

On that note, I have to say that at least there's Nathan. He's amazing. Him and I can seriously be doing nothing and still just be laying on the couch together cracking up. He makes the simple things like even running to the grocery store an adventure in itself. I'm obviously stressed to the max and then he does something  like take his break at 10 (when he gets off at 11) because he knows I'll be driving home from work and need some cheering up. He's helping me look for roommates on Craigslist, and researching what apartments these people are in to help rule some out. He's helping me look for new jobs by teaching me the importance of using my (and his) contacts. I can't give him credit for helping my budget, because, well, he needs help with that too.  I'm pretty sure I'd be lost without him. He's by far the best thing a girl could ask for.