beauty IN THE beast

Let's go back in time, say, two years? Three years? Around there. I tell you "In 3 years I'm going to be driving through Tampa" what would you say? What if I said "In 3 years I'm going to be driving a big white van, kinda like so:

Now what if I said "In 3 years I'll be driving that big white van through Tampa". Well, I should've bet a million dollars on it...because i'd be awfully rich. Not as rich as if Grandpa won the lottery, however.

Let me tell you what...i rock that van. I look super hott drivin that thing. Just today people were honking at me (it had all to do w/ how good I looked driving it, and nothing to do w/ my super slow "i'm in a panic" speed) Levi better hire me a body guard because I know he's gonna have a hard time keeping the men off me drivin' that thing around. Whew-whew!!

Tomorrow I go back to work. Hopefully I don't have to drive that beast again because I'm joking about it, but it scares to me death. No joke. Florida driving has taught me good math skills though.

Florida Driving Teaches You Math

Example One: You are driving down I-4 and the speed limit is 65. What is your speed?

65+15=80
The correct answer is : 80

Example Two: You are driving down I-275 at 5:30 PM, how long does it take you to go 2 miles?

The correct answer is : 30 minutes
(Trick question, I said 5:30 PM...RUSH HOUR!)

Example Three: You are driving behind a car on I-75 at a safe following distance. How many cars can you squeeze into that space?

Using logical division: 0
Using Florida Driving Math:
The correct answer is: 2 cars

Example Four: You see the car in front of you on I-4 of hitting their breaks and slowing down? After how many seconds should you hit your breaks?

Using logical math: Right Away
Using Florida Driving Math:
The correct answer is:
When you are 1 second away from hitting the car in front of you,
causing a chain reaction of people slamming on their breaks.

I'm sure I'll learn to be an aggressive driver sooner or later, but right now, I still get freaked out driving it in Sulley, let alone that beast! At least I have it down to a science, er, math.